I sometimes feel like I'm drowning in sadness whenever I try to close my eyes at night. I feel so miserable even though I always try my best to cheer myself up. I want to reach out to people but most of the time, I am afraid for my feelings to be invalidated. And that is why I just choose to keep everything to myself even though sometimes I feel like giving up. There are times where I feel like I need a friend, but I stop myself from talking about my pain to someone. I'm afraid that somebody might never care, so I always end up dealing with my problems alone.

I must admit that it is not easy. When I feel like everything in my life is falling apart and I just have to act like I am always a strong person, I think that's the hardest thing to do every day pretending that I am just alright all along. The truth is, sometimes, I want to go somewhere I can scream all my pain away. Because I'm tired. I'm tired of everything that's happening in my life right now. I'm tired of forcing myself to act like I am happy in front of everyone wherein the truth is, I'm slowly dying inside. I'm so sick of this. I honestly hate that I ever existed.
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